Bedtime At the Crane Household
by Harlequin Gaga
Summary: Batgirl and the Scarecrow have finally settled down and are ready to raise their family, but Batman isn't ready to lose the love of his life just yet. ((I wrote this in like fifth grade and I'm only keeping it up here because it remains hilarious. Read it for the lulz!))


_**Bedtime At the Crane Household:**_

It was late Sunday night.

Tomorrow Barbara had to get up to go back to college. Ugh. And Jonathan had to get up to go to work. Even bigger ugh.

The two were sleeping peacefully in their room. Happy that they had lost their pride (and some of Barbara's brain) and gotten married. Just_ perfect_.

Suddenly, a yelp was heard from their 3-year-old twins' room. Both their eyes shot open at once.

"I'll get a bat."

"I'll get fear toxin."

Then another yelp sounded, even louder.

They both got up and bolted to the room. Barbara got their first.

"What is it, baby?" Jonathan called.

After a short pause, Barabara yelled, "Jonathan! Get in here!"

He raced down the hall to find Clyde, their son, crying in his bed. Bonnie, their daughter, holding up a chair ready to throw it. And at the window....

Batman.

"Crap." Barbara whispered and ran to pick up Clyde, who buried his face in his hands.

Jonathan marched up to the dark pointy-eared figure. "What makes you think you can just come up here and scare the goo out of my children!? I haven't caused any trouble in three months!"

"I'm here for Barbara," The Batman said, pointing to Jonathan's startled wife. At this, Bonnie threw the chair, but it hit Jonathan.

"Sorry Daddy," she whimpered as he fell to the floor.

Finally, Barbara hoarsely said, "What do you want from me? We are through!"

Batman moved toward her, kicking Jonathan on his way. "Barbara, he hit you with fear toxin. Inside you _still_ are good. But this, this monster has tricked you into a marriage!"

Barbara set Clyde back on his bed. "I told you, we are _through_! I'm tired of doing what _Daddy_ would do! I _love_ Jonathan!"

White eyes under a black hood narrowed. "Until you come back as the _good_ Batgirl, The _Scarecrow_ will spend some time in the Batcave!" He picked up Jonathan and stormed out the window again.

Bonnie got up and ran to the window. "You put Daddy right back here, you big ugly bat! Die, you! Mommy loves us better!"

Barbara picked her up. "Listen, Bonnie. You're just gonna cause more trouble. Daddy will be fine_.....I hope_."

_**At the Batcave:**_

"Scarecrow, what did you do to Barbara?!" Batman yelled as he slammed his fist on the table infront of Jonathan.

The scrawny redhead winced at the sound.

"Oh, _Batman_. All I did was look handsome and be a klutz. It's not my fault I accidentally dropped the fear toxin on her."

Once again, the white eyes narrowed. "Well until the Batgirl I know and love comes back, you're staying here."

Jonahtan's hazel eyes widened."_You fool!" _he screamed, "She will _never_ leave the kids alone! And I have to be at the asylum _tomorrow_! _You_ of all people should know that Joker has just been admitted!"

But his screams were useless. Batman shoved him into a dark Bat-Cell.

The Dark Knight's gruff voice echoed in the wide Cave. "Oh you'll be at the asylum tomorrow. But not as a doctor."

_**At the Crane household:**_

It was the next morning. And Barbara was still crying. After calling the headmaster saying she couldn't make it, she went back to Bonnie and Clyde's room.

"Don't cry, Mommy." Clyde mumbled. "We all knew this was coming. After all, you said 'Batman is a no-good bottle drinker and he's probably gonna try to drag me back one day' Don't be sad."

Barbara lifted her head. "Oh, Clyde. I'm not sad. I'm _mad_."

Bonnie got up to join the conversation. "Well let's kick some pointy-eared butt!"

Barbara smiled. "Bonnie, that is the best idea ever!" Her grin grew as she got up. "Bonnie? Clyde? Do you want to enter Mommy and Daddy's line of work?"

_**At the Batcave:**_

"Listen, Batman!" Jonathan screamed, "I have kids! A family! You can't do this!"

Batman's deep chuckle seeped out. "I believe I can. It's very believable that you've come back to the bad side of things." Just as he was handcuffing Jonathan, a loud crash was heard outside.

And then Batgirl burst through the door.

Batman smiled. "Barbara, I knew you would come back!" He ran to give her a hug, but she pushed him away.

Just then Bonnie and Clyde stepped out from behind her.

"We want Daddy back!" Clyde yelled.

"And to kick your butt, Batsy!" Bonnie added in.

Batman got up. "Barbara, do _you_ want to be put in Arkham, too? I can tell them what he did to you."

Clyde came up and kicked Batsy where it hurts. While he was on the floor with pain, Bonnie sat on his head and screamed in his ear.

Batgirl went over to a very confused Jonathan and kissed him on the cheek. "Were you okay honey?" she whispered in his ear.

He smiled. "Get me out of these things and I'll show Batman how far I'll go to protect my kids."

She reached into her utility belt to pull out the Bat-Key and uncuffed him. "You go, honey!" She smiled as she saw her _very own _Scarecrow beat the crap out of Batman.

When it was all done, they each picked up a twin and headed out the door.

"Let's catch up on some sleep," Jonathan said as he kissed Barbara on the nose.

All was well.

_**The End**_


End file.
